My dad turns 60 next month, and I said I'd give the speech at his party.

Example: a three-minute speech for a dad turning 60

Example, about 380 words: the notes above after Marco filled the placeholders and added his own lines, like the parking commentary.

“Hi everyone. I'm Marco, Tom's oldest. Thanks for coming, and thanks to the bowling league for showing up in matching shirts, which I'm told was not planned.

Dad has worked at the same body shop for 35 years. That means two things. One, he can look at any car in this street and tell you what year it was in an accident. Two, every one of us grew up thinking that primer was what dads smelled like.

He also narrates other people's parking. You've all seen it. Someone pulls in at the grocery store and Dad goes, quietly, ‘Okay. Okay. No. Okay.’ He doesn't know these people. He just cares.

He taught me to drive in the church parking lot. He yelled exactly once in six weeks, and to be fair, it was the bishop's hedge.

At my sister's graduation, Dad cried through the whole thing. Afterwards, he told everyone it was allergies. In June. Indoors. Dad, we believed you. We still believe you. It's allergies.

This year he signed up for a woodworking class. He has built one birdhouse so far. It's in the backyard, you can see it from here. No bird has gone near it. I think the birds are intimidated. It's very well made.

What I want to say, though, is this. Dad, you've gone to the same job for 35 years, and you came home from it every night and still had time for us. For driving lessons, and broken bikes, and cars I put in hedges. I didn't notice how much that cost until I had a job too.

So please raise a glass. To Tom. To 60. And to the next birdhouse, which the birds will love.”

Notice that every joke comes from a real habit and every one is affectionate. There is one serious paragraph, near the end, said straight to him, and then the toast lands while people are still smiling.

Toast or speech, and how long

A rule of thumb, not a rule: if you are the only person speaking and the party is for him, three minutes is about right. If his brothers, his friends and his kids are all saying something, keep yours to a one-minute toast and let the room fill the evening.

HidenGPT plans English speech at 130 words a minute, so a toast of one minute is about 130 words and a three-minute speech about 390. A one-minute toast holds one detail and one line to him. Three minutes holds a couple of habits, a story and the serious line.

Where to give it: after the food and before the cake, when people are sitting and still listening. At a backyard party, get someone to turn the music down first and wait until the people at the grill have come over.

A rough split for three minutes: who you are and a thank-you to the room, about 40 words; two of his habits, about 90; one story, about 130; one serious paragraph to him, about 80; the toast, about 50.

Jokes he will laugh at, and what to leave out

Fathers at 60 tend to be easy to tease and hard to praise to their face. Use the first to get to the second.

Good material is specific: his work, the way he drives, his hobby, the phrase he says at every family dinner, the thing he claims he does not do. Generic dad jokes about the grill, the thermostat or dad jeans are the jokes every other 60th birthday speech has, so leave them unless they are really true of him and you can add the detail that makes them his.

Leave out his age as the punchline, hair, weight, health, reading glasses and memory. A 60-year-old who is still working does not want a speech about being old. Leave out his divorce, money, the family member he does not speak to and any story about him that his own father would not have liked.

The serious paragraph is the one most people skip, and it is the one he will remember. One or two sentences, said to him, about what he did that you only understood later. Then the toast, right away, so neither of you has to stand there for long.

What the Speech format does with a 60th

Birthday / celebration asks for personal memories, a warm wish, and humor everyone in the room will get, so a joke has to work for his bowling league and his mother at the same time. Minutes runs from 1 to 15; at 3 the draft aims for about 390 words and you are warned if it lands more than 30% off.

It builds the speech from your notes and is told not to invent anecdotes, names or events. Where it needs a story you did not give it, it leaves [add a short memory]. Tone starts on Heartfelt + witty, which suits most 60ths; Witty pushes the jokes further, and Heartfelt keeps it gentle. Turn on Stage cues under More details for marks like [pause] and [raise your glass], which do not count as words. A light red pen pass cuts stock phrases. With a plan, a voice saved from your own writing, such as messages to your family, makes the wording sound like you on a good day.