Is it OK to use AI to write a wedding speech?

Why it can feel like cheating, and why it usually isn't

People have always had help with speeches. A ghostwriter, in the usual definition, writes a text that someone else is credited with, and speeches have long been part of the job, alongside memoirs and articles. At weddings the help is usually smaller: a sibling who reads the draft, a friend who says “cut the second story”.

Research on AI writing helps explain the uneasy feeling. In a 2023 study, Draxler and colleagues found that people who used AI-generated text didn't feel they owned it, yet still put their own name on it. The same study found that the more influence people had over a text, the more ownership they felt.

That's the useful part for a speech. The more of it comes from you (the stories, the order, the last edit), the more it will feel like yours when you stand up with the microphone.

Where the line is

Three questions decide whether a speech is yours, however it was drafted.

Could you tell each story without the page? If you only know a story because a draft invented it, take it out.

Would the couple recognize themselves? A speech about “their shared love of adventure” fits every couple. A speech about the time they got lost on the way to their own engagement dinner fits one.

Could someone else give this speech at a different wedding? If the answer is yes, it isn't finished. Add a name, a place or a moment that only this couple has.

Then read it aloud and time it. A draft that reads well on a screen can still trip you up in the mouth, and any sentence you stumble on twice should be rewritten in the way you'd say it.

A eulogy is different

The same principle applies to a eulogy, with less room for error. The audience is grieving, they knew the person, and they'll hear immediately if a detail is wrong or a sentence sounds borrowed.

Help with structure and length is reasonable: an opening that says who you are to the person, two or three memories, what they leave behind and a short close. At about 130 words a minute, a rule of thumb, three to five minutes comes to roughly 400 to 650 words. Check how long the service allows with the family or the officiant.

Keep the memories and the plain sentences. A eulogy doesn't need to be clever; “She always left the porch light on for us” does more than any polished line. Many families like to read the eulogy beforehand, and reading it from the page on the day is completely normal.

Should you tell anyone you used AI?

There's no rule that says you must. Nobody announces that their sister edited their speech, and help with wording is in the same family.

Two situations change that. If the couple or the family asks, tell them honestly what you used it for. And if they've said they'd rather the speech came from you alone, respect that and write it yourself, perhaps with a friend reading it over.

If you do use a tool, give it the things a template can't have: your memories, the couple's names, the room you'll be speaking in and a few messages you've written so it can follow how you talk. HidenGPT's Speech format, for example, times the draft to the minutes you set and can write in a voice built from your own messages. Whatever you use, the last pass is yours: read it aloud, cut what isn't true and make sure every joke is one you'd tell.